You are my sunshine

Subtitled: The boring thoughts of a momentarily introspective stay at home mom living in suburban Utah. Read at your own risk.

I'm not the kind of parent to pick favorites. Honestly, I don't get how any parent could actually have a favorite child. I can understand getting along with one better than another or connecting with one more than another, but I don't think that I could ever say that one of my children was more valuable to me than their brother or sister. Ya, I totally couldn't and shouldn't and wouldn't pick a favorite.

That said... I totally pick favorites.

Allow me to explain. (or rather, try to stop me from explaining...maniacal laughter ensues)

Siblings can be SO different, which never ceases to amaze me. Having kids totally puts a new perspective on the whole nature vs. nurture thing for me. And there are some days that I can look at one of my kids and wish that a band of gypsies was passing by so that I could sell said child to them. There are some days that I can look at three all of my kids and wish that I could sell them to a band of gypsies, but then there are other days when the same children can make the tedious life of a stay at home mom worth every frustrating, mind numbing moment.

I guess what I mean (in too many words) is that each of my kids has their good days and bad, each of them brings me happiness and vexation and peace and frustration and moments of insanity and moments of absolute bliss. It just depends on which kid and which day. So my favorite changes from day to day and sometimes they all have to share the highly sought after title and sometimes they are all in the dog house.

Jane is my favorite because she's so creative and she's getting so smart and she can be responsible and she always stands up for me. She's totally starting to develop a sense of humor, which a nice relief from the usual humor of a five year old girl which consists largely of...

"knock, knock!"

"who's there?"

"potato."

"potato who?"

"i'm a potato and i'm purple and like to wear pajamas!"

followed by several minutes of hysterical laughter on jane's part and nervous laughter on everyone else's.

ya, i'm ready for those jokes to move out and real ones to move it.

Lizzy is my favorite because she's Lizzy. To know Lizzy is to love Lizzy. There's something so peaceful and tender and earnest about her. She gets away with way more than anyone else in this house. It's after 10:00 and at this moment she's sitting on my lap watching me type instead of being asleep. I'll tell you right now that the other kids would never be sitting here. She's just special and I still don't understand and I still love her for it.

And Charlie, well today, Charlie was my favorite. I think that I'm enjoying Charlie because of the stage that he's in right now. I think that for most people, life is just a series of epiphanies. Once something connects in our minds, we aren't ever the same again and we have to adjust and learn to live under our new circumstances, until something else connects and we start the cycle all over again. I think that my favorite child is usually going through one of those epiphanies. I'm infatuated with the growth (that sounds weird. "i am the growth").

Charlie is growing up. He's learning new ways to communicate, i.e. bringing me a cup when he wants a drink instead of screaming the copy righted banshee scream until I figure it out. He seems to be understanding me and my role as his mom a little better, he's starting to know his boundaries and test them and he's started to enjoy us more and vice versa. I love it. I can't get enough of it. I need it.

Charlie, being my favorite, was the only child to have his photo taken tonight at dinner. Jane and Lizzy have had and do and will have their days, but today belonged to him.