The Woes of Motherhood

At around 11:00 this morning, I started documenting the goings on of my day because it has seriously been THAT bad for me and I knew my misery was going to propel itself throughout the entire day. I'm not posting this looking for sympathy (well maybe a little) but rather because even though I've been living it, I still see the comedic value in having such a bad day. I also want to remind those of you who are annoyed at this kind of post that I don't keep a journal, I blog. So if I want to remember something, like how it feels to be a young mom with sick children, this is where the documentation of it ends up.

Let me start by saying that last week, Jane came down with some sort of something, I don't know if it's the flu or what, but it hits hard, stays with you all week and has been working it's way through our house since last Monday. Jane... Jaime (our "roommate")... Lizzy... Charlie... me... and now Brent is getting his share. I wish this sickness upon NO ONE. I haven't been so sick a good, long time.

So anyway, I'm going to say that my day actually started last night:

9:00PM: American Idol ends and I start getting ready to go to bed early since I only slept 3 or 4 hours the night before and then spent the ENTIRE day holding Lizzy.
11:00PM: I finally lay down after nursing the baby, coughing, gagging, listening to Jane scream, etc.
11:00PM - 3:00AM: I'm up several times trying to calm the baby, wanting to kick my cat and listening to Jane scream for help. So much for going to be early.
3:00 AM: The last time I look at the clock before I finally doze off. I sleep restlessly because I can't breath and I'm feeling feverish, but I haven't eaten, so I don't take any meds.
5:00: Charlie wakes up and wants to nurse.
5:30(?): Brent leaves and is to be out of town for the next 3 days for work.
7:00: Charlie wakes up and wants to nurse
8:00: Lizzy wakes up and starts screaming hysterically unless I'm holding her WHILE I'm standing up. I'm so sick that I start to black out, so even though she's screaming, I lie down in bed. I give her fruit snack to quiet her down.
8:45: Lizzy gives up crying and climbs in bed with me, she almost falls asleep again.
9:00: Jane wakes up and comes into my room.
9:10: I turn on the TV for the girls and hop in the shower in an effort to steam my head clear. I cry a lot while I'm in there.
9:20: Jane lets Lizzy in the bathroom and closes the door. Lizzy then promptly strips herself naked and informs me that she's poopy, and she is. I get out and hose her off.
9:30: Charlie is screaming his head off. I pick him up and find that he has a raging fever and nurse him until he settles down. I spend some time with him since he's completely listless. Today is going to be his bad day. I have no idea what the girls are doing, but there are a lot of tears.
10:45: I finally get a diaper on Lizzy. She's been naked.
10:45 - 11:30: This time is filled with screaming, food being thrown on the floor and stepped on and the house generally being torn apart because I have no energy to stop it. The girls eat bread for breakfast (yes, breakfast) and smash bananas into the dining room rug.
11:30: I finally put Lizzy down for a nap and start to get Jane ready for school. Jane starts screaming at me, throwing things at me and hitting me. She hasn't slept well for over a week.
11:50: My mom calls and is on her way here to help me with the kids while Brent is gone. I love my mom.
11:30-12:00: The sudafed I took earlier starts to kick in. I have just enough energy to fight with Jane and be abusive enough to feel like the worst mother ever. I give up on school today.
12:10: I lock Jane in her room, give her some Benedryl and tell her that she isn't coming out until she takes a nap. All the while she is still hitting me and screaming to call her daddy.
12:15: Charlie goes down and I think that everything is quiet enough to give me a little much needed nap time
12:20: I eat some left overs so that I have some food in my stomach to take some motrin and calm my fever.
12:25: I hear Lizzy screaming. I warm up a bottle to take to her. In her room I find that she has found, opened and poured the contents of an entire bottle of cough syrup on her sheets, her mattress and herself.
12:30: The house is quiet, thank goodness.
12:45: Jane starts screaming from her locked bedroom, again.
12:50: I take Jane the phone to call her dad and also take a cup of water and a tortilla with butter on it because she's hungry. Her screaming wakes up Charlie who starts crying. I want to die. She at least quiets down.
1:05: I go get Charlie out of bed.
1:05 - 1:30: I allow parts of my brain to rot as I watch Hoda and Kathie Lee and love my Charlie who must be feeling horrible, but still tries to smile for his mommy.
1:45: I put Charlie down... Jane wakes up. I stick Jane in front of the TV and make her promise not to come get me out of bed. I put in ear plugs and pray for a few minutes of rest.
2:25: I wake up. I'm groggy. Charlie apparently never went to sleep. At least I got a little snooze.
2:30 - 3:30: The hour passes relatively peacefully, with the exception of Jane breaking a glass bowl.
3:30: I try to put Charlie down again since he hasn't napped all day.
4:30: After spending some time working on my barrettes, accomplishing almost nothing, and coloring with Jane (who's mood is GREATLY improved) I get Charlie up.
He still hasn't taken a nap.
4:45: Jane is to spend the night with her grandma and I decide I'd better make her take a bath since she hasn't had one since Saturday. She cries as I take out her hair ties... I put her hair in pig tails on Monday and we haven't touched it since.
5:00: Jane calls me in from nursing Charlie, again, and tells me that the water cut her. There was a razor in the tub that cut her leg. Blood is everywhere. Charlie is good natured enough to watch the ceiling fan in my room while I bandage her and dry her hair. She looks so cute. It is the first time in several days that I've felt that motherly love for her instead of that motherly frustration.
5:20: I get Lizzy out of her room. She slept ALL afternoon. I'm worried about tonight. She is sitting on her dresser, having turned off her CD player and humidifier. She's totally OCD. As soon as I walk in, the usual "I just woke up" hysterics start again........my head is literally throbbing, my body aches everywhere and the blacking out starts again.
5:30: The girls want dinner. I give them fruit snacks instead. My mom is in Provo and says she'll bring dinner. I love my mom.
6:10: Lizzy realizes that she can reach the water in the fridge. She fills a cup full of water and then dumps it on the hardwoods. I get up from zoning out in front of qubo with Jane and see that she has also unraveled a roll of toilet paper and a roll of paper towels. I use them to clean up the water. I try to lock the water in the fridge, but it doesn't work. Grrrrrrr.
6:20: Charlie starts to sweat. I figure the last dose of meds has kicked in and broken his fever. Will he sleep? I try. He has laughed at me each time I've given him his binky today. I think he's trying to tell me how useless it is to try to get him to sleep.
6:40: My mom shows up at the same time as some sweet neighbors, both parties bearing dinner. We eat chicken, cresent rolls, delicious salad and baked potatoes. I can kind of taste it, but I know it tastes delicious, so eat a good dinner. It's a bright spot in my day, It's nice to feel so loved.
6:50: Jane cuts her foot on a shard of glass, presumably from the aforementioned bowl that broke.
6:55: Lizzy goes into a coughing fit that ultimately leads to vomit on the hardwoods.
7:00: My mom helps me clean my kitchen and floors and takes Jane to her house for a sleepover.
8:35: My babies are in bed and I'm back to watching American Idol. I'm crossing my fingers that that they'll actually go to sleep and maybe stay asleep for a little while tonight.



P.S. - Is it bad that I'm enjoying Kelly Clarkson's performance so much?